Who Am I?

This is a reoccuring concern. But it's the first question that obviously needs understood, at least in some vague terms, though I'll try to be as specific as I can:

I am generally alternating between moments of full-optimistic joy and being funny, or quiet contemplation and being depressed. Depressed is my concept for inner monolouge that I've learned through experience.

I live in a Rust Belt city that once made alot of bigtime capitalists alot of money based on the desperation of real-life commodities, and real-life pollution. Now the City is trying to rebrand itself, achieve its fullest potential, despite some crippling deficiencies. I feel very close to my city, because I consider it apart of who I am, and what I do.

I love words because it's how I learn. Some people learn concepts through pictures, but I've always understood the world through careful analysis of words. Some concepts, like 'irony' are best understood this way. Irony is when a subject gains freedom from himself and others by negating an object, and assigning it a meaning that is its exact opposite implication. My real life name is ironic, so perhaps thats why I feel that my existence and existence is general is best understood as an ironic concept. I experience feelings of complete subjective freedom from myself and all other objects, but also feelings of estrangement, alienation. I experience life through the realm of poetic sadness and poetic joy. Most of my time is spent wondering. There are pros and cons to many things. I write because I have many questions, and words help me hopefully eventually understand.